“Take Care of Yourself.” How???

Steve had a lot of health issues in his last couple years. As each of these conditions worsened, I supported and helped him in any way I could, including:

• helping him do the nightly, partly sterile, 26-step process to connect him to the home dialysis machine, and then doing the sterile disconnect every morning 
• being with him through numerous 911 calls and ER visits
• visiting and supporting him during weeks of hospitalization, including at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix
• and finally home Hospice and all that that entailed

My stress level steadily increased until, during those last few weeks before he died, it was extreme and continuous. Since then, I’ve learned some things about stress that I’d like to share with you because just by doing life nowadays in this chaotic world, we’re all experiencing stress to one degree or another. But even if you don’t need this info now, I suggest you read it and tuck it away in your brain’s filing cabinet for possible future use …

During those last months, family and friends would caution me, “Make sure you take care of yourself.” I appreciated their well-meaning warnings but my unspoken response was an exasperated “How and when am I supposed to do that??” Maybe “Hey Steve, I know you can’t walk, are bedridden, and totally vulnerable, but I’m going to head over to the gym and then get a massage and facial.”

Despite some relief from the stress—like a couple hours of reading after he was settled in for the night—I had several physical symptoms arise: my blood pressure shot up, I had trouble sleeping and was constantly exhausted, my poor appetite resulted in weight loss and yet my body “blew up”—especially my abdomen—so my clothes got uncomfortably tight, I had crying jags, some resurgence of the arm muscle weakness I used to have from cervical spine stenosis, and noticeable issues with memory and clear thinking.

Then exactly one week after Steve died, I woke up and my bum knee was suddenly so bad I literally couldn’t put weight on that leg. When I saw my PCP about it he said, “Understandable. Increased inflammation due to high levels of cortisol for a prolonged period of time.” Duh. Of course! Cortisol—the “stress hormone.” So I googled to understand it better …

About Cortisol

Cortisol is a hormone produced in and released from the adrenal glands. It affects almost every organ and tissue in your body, and plays many important roles, including:

• regulating how your body uses fats, proteins, and carbohydrates
• suppressing inflammation
• regulating blood pressure
• regulating blood sugar
• boosting energy when needed, then restoring balance afterwards
• influencing sleep patterns, including help waking up and staying alert
• regulating memory
• supporting the immune system

But along with adrenalin, cortisol also plays a major part in your body’s response to stress—the “fight-or-flight” response. It helps you to think and act fast by increasing blood glucose levels as a quick source of fuel, and boosting blood flow to the brain and muscles. In the process, however, resources are pulled from less essential functions (at least from a survival standpoint), like digestion, and the body’s healing and repair processes.

This fight-or-flight response was meant to be activated in short bursts of true danger, like enabling you to run away from the tiger that’s chasing you. When the threat subsides, everything returns to normal, and cortisol restores balance. But if you experience chronic stress, then the fight-or-flight response can be activated almost continuously. Basically, that tiger that’s chasing you never goes away.

When the stress is prolonged like this over time, then cortisol levels are consistently high which causes the usual cortisol functions to go all haywire …

Potential Effects of Prolonged High Cortisol Levels

Because cortisol affects so many body functions, prolonged high cortisol levels can cause a myriad of problems:

• “cortisol belly”—the excess glucose converts to fat that gets stored all over the body, especially as abdominal fat that can cause obesity and increased risk of diabetes and heart disease
• sleep problems—including affecting your body’s time to heal or repair itself
• severe fatigue
• hormone imbalances—that can affect, for example, thyroid production (which can, in turn, affect heart rate, mood, energy level, metabolism, bone health, and more)
• gastrointestinal issues
• high blood sugar—increasing the potential for insulin resistance, which can lead to Type 2 diabetes
• weight gain—the high glucose levels can result in cravings for quick-energy, unhealthy sugar and carb foods
• systemic inflammation
• increased heart rate, high blood pressure, and cardiovascular problems—like increased risk of heart attack and stroke
• easy bruising
• muscle weakness
• mood changes like irritability, anxiety, or depression
• difficulty concentrating
• thinning skin
• acne
• headaches

Given my symptoms then and now, I can check off A LOT of these effects. It has even affected my ability to “connect” with my writing Muse. So what to do about it? …

Counteracting Cortisol’s Effects

Thankfully, there are several things that can counteract these effects:

• meditating or doing relaxation techniques like deep breathing
• doing an anti-inflammatory diet (maybe even vegan)
• exercising
• taking supplements like ashwagandha, Rhodiola rosea, magnesium, and fish oil
• getting 7-8 hours of quality sleep
• decreasing caffeine, sugar, and alcohol
• staying hydrated
• making time to be with friends (human as well as fur or feather babies)
• learning to say no to things that aren’t a high priority
• having fun and laughing more

But none of this is an overnight cure. Just as it takes time for cortisol functions to get out of whack and wreak havoc, so also does it take time to counteract its effects.

Yes, I Could Have …

I realize now that I actually could have taken better care of myself this past year. Especially during Steve’s home Hospice—when the paid caregiver and visiting family members were here—I could have taken more time here and there for self care. And now for that oversight, I’m paying the price and trying to do the counteractions listed above. It will take time.

So I caution you (as others tried to caution me), if you’re dealing with a lot of stress, DON’T do what I did. Instead, DO “Make sure to take care of yourself.” Be kind to your Self.

I’ve often written here about practicing Kindness as being part of Oneness. Maybe I need to make sure I’m being as kind to myself as I try to be to others. And maybe you do, too.

P.S. Besides reading as a respite from the stress, I also started doing adult acrylic paint by number (PBN). The following is the picture I started during Steve’s Hospice and then subsequently finished after he died. I was afraid it would remind me of that painful and difficult time, but instead I view it as giving myself flowers. PBN is a great distraction because it requires concentration but little thinking. I highly recommend it but I warn you: PBN is addictive. I’m working on my second kit now, and I’m embarrassed to tell you how many kits I have waiting in the wings!